November Overview!

I just realized that I titled my last overview journal wrong! Wow! Already giving a November review on the first day! I have since changed it. I promise, this is the real November overview.

As a heads up, this month hasn't been a good one for me. And I'm only anticipating December won't be any better. My journal will be filled with a lot of depression and anxiety and if you don't want to read that, I completely understand. You can simply enjoy the beautiful artwork I share instead.

All the jumbled thoughts in my head can only be summed up in one word.

Stress.

I feel like I'm suffocating and being crushed by the weight. I'm certain it'll be the death of me too. I live with nothing but regret about my past and anxiety for the future. The time I do spend in the present is swallowed up and drowned out by restlessness and fatigue. I honestly don't even know how I have survived this long.

I have come to realize I don't really know how to simply enjoy something purely because it exists. I'm always thinking about how to turn it into something useful. I'm constantly thinking and I wish I could just stop.

I can't sleep. My dreams are constantly invaded by a million things that frustrate me or cause me stress. I wake up and it's nothing but stress. I can't rest ever. I guess I finally got my wish when I went through all of those years being mad at sleep/rest and calling it a waste of time and now it's all I ever want.

Being able to focus on artwork has been a severe challenge for me. I was trying to stock up on art pieces so that if I ever ran into months where I couldn't muster the motivation to be creative, then I wouldn't disappoint. But alas, I'm falling behind yet again. The simple solution is to simplify. Not to worry, I won't cut out drawing from my life seeing how I'm way too attached to it as is, however, I do need to drop some things which I haven't figured out what yet.

Why all of the stress? Well, it sort of started with the scare of having to move in February, only a year after moving to this new place and all I could think about was where we could live and how we would be able to afford it and if I could pack everything in time for the move and stay organized about it. Thankfully, we won't be moving so that was a huge relief. However, I don't think I've ever mentioned this before, but this time of year always causes me the most stress. Holidays are actually my least favorite now because I keep thinking about all of the art pieces I want to finish for the special people in my life and then realizing there's no way I could even remotely put a dent on the amount of pieces I'd like to finish by the end of the year. Then there's family to see and spend time with, friends who want to see me, church who wants me to socialize, and the list goes on from there.

In short, I'm a people pleaser and I've come to notice that it hasn't done me a lot of good. I can't please everyone even though I wish I could. So, I'm very sorry to anyone and everyone I've disappointed with my art pieces this past year. I'll try my best for next year, but I can't guarantee anything.

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➤ Rules
Tag 8+ people you'd like to get to know better using this meme!!



➤ Name : Adalia, though you can call me Izsak and I'd answer to it too. Or Hollow. I normally prefer Izsak on here actually! It's odd seeing my real name used here.
➤ Star sign : Cancer
➤ Average hours of sleep : I try to sleep for about 9 hours though most of the time I only get about 4-6 hours of good sleep.
➤ Lucky number(s) : 7 (The month and day I was born)
➤ Last thing googled : I googled mountain time because I'm an idiot and didn't realize that I live in the mountain time zone! But I needed it to call into a medical billing place to sort some billing mistakes.
➤ Favorite fictional character(s) : Oh boy...

Here's a few that I can name off of the top of my head...
- All of the characters in Ouran High School Host Club. You just can't go wrong with them. Even the ones that can be irritating sometimes, I love them.
- Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy because how can you not? That cool silent mysterious type seems to be my thing with characters...not to mention ho cool he looks in that red bullet riddled cape of his.
- All of the characters in Kimi Ni Todoke. That anime is so cute that I can't even express how much I adore it.
- Prince Zuko from Avatar and his uncle, of course! Might as well add in the main characters too...because that show is happiness.
- Cain from Godchild, because he's such a sly wolf. Not to mention he's just one of those beautiful gentlemen that you simply cannot take your eyes off of.
- Max and Fang from the Maximum Ride graphic novels because I totally ship them.
- Maerad and Cadvan from the Pellinor series because they intrigue me greatly. I love those books and highly recommend them to anyone and everyone.
- Mettaton and Sans (And you can pretty much list off all of the characters in Undertale)
- All of the main characters from the manga trilogy, RElay
- All of the characters in RWBY (I can't get over how great their personalities are!)
- OCs. I cannot get over how much I adore OCS. I've come to fall in love with AsheAnon's characters so much that I find a way to pair so many of my characters with hers. It's a ridiculous obsession of mine and I'm trying to stop!
Either way, I really love the character creating process and I can appreciate any and all efforts put into making an OC.



➤ Current attire : Jeans, and a Threadless t-shirt with a long sleeve shirt underneath.
➤ When did you start this account? : Deviant since October 7th 2007 (did I not mention I apparently really like the number 7??)
➤ Number of watchers : 380
➤ What do you post? : A lot of OC related pieces. I'm working on doing more fanart.
➤ Other blogs : I recently started up my Tumblr again...er...created a new account to start with a clean slate because my last one was way too cluttered.
➤ Do you get a lot of comments : I'm getting more than I used to when I first started. It's progress Though, I take forever to respond to things because I'm terrible with managing my time.
➤ Why did you choose this username? : While in high school, my friends and I really liked reading manga, watching anime, or playing games and we'd talk about it all of the time. At the time, we read RElay and I was assigned the character role of Izsak because my personality and his were very similar. Not to mention my waifu was my friend and she was Cree...so it only made sense. We all loved Bleach and it was a joke that I was a hollow because...I don't even remember why. Perhaps it was simply to go along with the 'Heartless' aspect of my name. That part came from being a heart breaker because I didn't start dating till I was 16 and then all the guys that liked me were too afraid to ask me out. So I'd break their heart by simply existing so to speak. That, and my friends liked playing Kingdom Hearts and I was obsessed with heart necklaces and I would joke about how I didn't have one so I needed to find a replacement. Soooooo yeah, there you go!

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